The Rue McClanahan Tribute Golden Girls Parody

Dear readers, hello, how are you? I have to thank my grandson Max (A.K.A. “M-Fixie”, because he’s a fixed gear bicycle enthusiast) for E-mailing me a link to a new viral video clip that he thought I might be interested in writing about because it’s in my field of expertise. It’s a lovely comedic tribute parody of one of my favorite actresses of all time, the late, great Rue McClanahan, star of The Golden Girls. At first I was a little apprehensive because it said “triple X” in the title, but after watching the clip, it’s all in good fun, and there is no nudity, so I’d say that it’s more like what they used to call “Vaudeville Burlesque”. Remember, the Blanche character was always known for being on the risqué side. You can judge for yourself. Here it is:

To be honest with you, I prefer this new theme song to the original. The lyrics are more emotional, and the singer’s voice and phrasing are simply beautiful. The actress that reprises the role of Blanche is Diamond Foxxx, and I’d say that she more than does Rue justice. And the actress that plays Sophia, Rachel Love, has the same deadpan delivery that made Estelle Getty famous. The storyline is a bit hard to follow, but I suppose that’s a consequence of younger people’s reduced attention spans. The situation comedy programs that always used to be a half-hour can now be done in one minute and 46 seconds. And they call that progress.

I’d like to think that if Rue McClanahan were still with us, she would appreciate this loving tribute to her. I know her health was poor in recent years, so maybe that’s why she wasn’t able to star in those Sex and the City movies. When they make the next one, they should cast Rue’s heir apparent, Diamond Foxxx, as a character to carry on Rue’s tradition. That would be a nice thing for them to do. And as for you, my dear readers, I will always be here for you, hoping to keep you surprised and delighted with this daily “lifestyle column”: As the Golden Girls parody theme song says, “Every time your door unlocks, I’ll be standing there with my big box, waiting for my chance to blow you away. I’m just so happy that you’re you”.

Until next time!

Ahoy,

The Codger

Get Up Under the Girders in the Basement

Good morning, my fine readership. I hope you are all safe after those storms yesterday and the day before. There weren’t any tornadoes in my neighborhood, but a tornado watch was issued for my area. When I heard that there was a tornado watch, my first thought was, “Get up under the girders”. That quote is from one of the earliest viral videos back in ’91. Most people originally saw it back then on that video search engine we all watched before YouTube took off like a rocket—I can’t remember the name of it anymore. Anyhow, it looks like YouTube must’ve bought the rights to it:

The sage cameraman in the video made it crystal clear that getting up under the girders was the only option. But while he may have been sage, he was also wrong. AAA and the National Weather Association made a slide show to prove it. Be reasonable: Who are you going to trust, one rogue TV cameraman or two respectable organizations? The slide show’s main point is that too many people paid attention to that one cameraman and abandoned their homes during tornadoes to seek shelter under the nearest overpass. But when they got to the overpass, there were already too many other people there. And there were also no girders to get up under, because most bridges don’t have girders! Just goes to show you how wrong the media is (this blog excluded). I guess now we know why all those bridges are collapsing everywhere: No girders.

They need to make a new viral video about tornado safety with a new slogan: “Get up under the girders in the basement”. If people can be made to think there are girders in the basement, their natural inclination will be to go right for them. I spent all day in the basement yesterday, and I realized how much better it is than under an overpass, tornado or not. I hope that you’ll instinctively remember that new slogan we talked about the next time a tornado watch hits.

Until next time!

Ahoy,

The Codger

Critiquing More Members of my Blog Roll (Music)

Ahoy to all of you today. How are you feeling? Are you up to the task of a spirited discussion? As part of today’s discussion, I would like to offer you my reviews of a few more members of my “blog roll” that my grandson Max (known to some of you by his nickname, “M-Fixie”) added for me, just like I did the last time, when I reviewed Hipster Runoff and High Times. Oh, and before I forget, I’d like to thank the good Samaritan who sent an E-mail to inform me about that blog, High Times. Evidently, the edition I reviewed was not just a special issue about medical marijuana, as I had thought. No. In fact, their entire blog is always devoted to marijuana! That’s not the sort of link that is appropriate for my “blog roll” so I removed it at once. I extend my apologies to any of you that might have followed my earlier recommendation to read High Times. Max, why did you add that to my blog roll? Do we need to have a talk?

Speaking of Max, he’s very interested in seeing what I think about the blogs that he recommended for me, since my perspective is often that of an outsider looking at his favorite blogs for the first time. And, you know, I end up liking a lot of them! That’ll show those naysayers who think I’m out of touch with modern culture who’s the out of touch one: them. Today, I’m going to share my thoughts on three blogs about music that Max added to my blog roll.

The Brooklyn Vegan. First of all, I thought that this blog would be about cooking, since vegans are people who don’t eat any meat or animal products. Max went through a vegan phase when he was in art school, which is why I thought he added this Web site to my blog roll. But it’s a blog about music. If they expect to get more hits, they should change their name to something about music. As a new reader to the blog, the articles were easy to find, but the music was more difficult–but I got there eventually. My biggest complaint is that this just isn’t my style of music.

Gorilla Vs. Bear. Now THIS is my style of music. The Gorilla Vs. Bear Blog has an attractive “theme” with a natural-looking wood grain, and all the music is easy to locate. I can’t find any information about the significance of its name, but I take it that “gorilla” refers to the good songs and “bear” to the bad ones, much like the “bulls” and “bears” of the stock market. Fortunately for all of us in society, they write more about the “gorillas”! I’ve got nothing bad to say about this blog. Good pick with this one, Max.

Breakfast At Sulimay’s. This one’s my favorite of all the music blogs. It has videos of three senior citizens—Ann, Bill, and Joe—reviewing songs as they listen to them inside Sulimay’s, a Philadelphia diner. They’re brutally honest and don’t sugar-coat anything, just to show you young people that we seniors aren’t as faint of heart as you think. And you know what? Their opinions are always right, even when they disagree with each other. Here is a typical video segment of Breakfast at Sulimay’s:
Max told me that he could make a video of me reviewing music like the ones on Breakfast At Sulimay’s, but I could never do that. Ann, Bill, and Joe already have that covered, and I would not want to face accusations of being late to the party. Breakfast At Sulimay’s shows that seniors can do things all by ourselves, and we can do them better than anyone at any age. Max, I sincerely hope that you add some more music blogs to my blog roll in the near future. I’m really enjoying learning about all this new music.

Until next time!

Ahoy,

The Codger

From the News Desk of The Codger

Good morning, my grand group of guppies! Welcome back to our daily round table discussion.

UPDATE: I am pleased to report that my dispute with the common-law Mrs. Codger yesterday was a simple misunderstanding. Watching Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis, Jr.’s counseling video together solved all our problems. Afterwards, we laughed and laughed about the childishness of our dispute, particularly my baseless accusations. We then spent a few hours watching videos of Marilyn and Billy singing on YouTube, including our favorite, “You Don’t Have To Be a Star (To Be In My Show)”: The whole time we were laughing and having a wonderful time enjoying each other’s company. Our common-law marriage remains as strong as ever.

NEWSFLASH: The oil spill in the Gulf continues unabated. I’ve heard word (unconfirmed) that British Petroleum is considering a “junk shot”: A shot of junk into the opening of the pipe to clog it up. I’m no engineering expert, but to me, this sounds like a waste of junk that could have, ideally, been recycled.

NEWSFLASH II: I’ve identified a new trend in my neighborhood. I was sitting in my kitchen last night when I heard two loud cars drive down my street, one right after the other. I went out on my porch, and sure enough, two different cars drove by again a few minutes later. They were drag racing down my street, just like the kids used to do when I was their age. What you do is you take an old car, soup up the engine, take out all the unnecessary weight, and that’s how you make a racer. You have to be crafty and use whatever resources are at your disposal. To think that I am lucky enough to be treated to this free display of culture right from my front porch! It almost reminds me of the way people in Mexico gather to watch the matador battle the picador at the big bullfights down there.

Until next time!

Ahoy,

The Codger