Posts Tagged ‘YouTube’

The Codger Stages an Intervention

Ahoy there, all you readers of this here “lifestyle column”. First on my agenda this morning, I must give my compliments to Nancy Grace for last night’s exceptional program. There were numerous bombshells, and I found it riveting from beginning to end. I’ll be right back “BRB”.

That was my telephone. It was my old pal Bill calling to notify me of the news over in his neck of the woods. He sure had a lot to tell me about today. First, the good news: Billy got himself a good deal on some hard candies at the Dollar General. I hope he got the butterscotches. Those are my favorites. Now, for the bad news: His grandson, Haydon (I’m not sure if that’s how you spell that name), is on drugs. I’m just glad that I don’t ever have to worry about that problem with my grandson Max, my grandniece Tricia, or their friends.

I told Billy that I’d do him a favor and find some good anti-drug intervention videos on the Internet to help poor Haydon kick the habit. I found one that I think is excellent. Very well done. You can really see the way that the speaker, Florrie Fisher, is connecting with the young people in the audience. Haydon had better thank his lucky stars that we have videos like this one that young people like himself can relate to:

Until next time!

Ahoy,

The Codger

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Election Day Words of Wisdom

Kind hellos to you all today. I just got back from the polls, where I did more than my part to support the Rent Is Too Damn High Party. On this Election Day, we all have to be careful to thwart the attempts by the hippie parties to grab the brass ring of power. I have certainly noticed them trying their hardest of late. Their method is insidious: To brainwash people through the mainstream media. And they’re starting to go after younger and younger voters. I present as evidence this advertising program for Luvs Diapers:

You know we’re in a sad state when the hippie parties are turning diapers into politically-charged attire. I’d like to see those grass-roots babies try and plan another Woodstock Festival on their own without the Party’s help. It wouldn’t happen! Those diapers-wearing babies don’t have the technology to do it. And that’s how you know it’s the Party bosses that are behind the whole thing, pushing their hippie agenda. Don’t be fooled! If you vote the hippies back into power, you’re going to regret it.

Until next time!

Ahoy,

The Codger

I Am Not Allowed to Tell You Who to Vote For, So I’m Just Going to Tell You to Vote

A very pleasant Monday to you, dear readers. I am positively wrapped with guilt for not being with you this weekend. You see, me and the missus decided to take a romantic spur-of-the-moment “staycation” (buzzword) to Atlantic City just like we used to do. In case you were wondering, I lost. And to add insult to injury, when we got back, I fired up my computer only to find that there was something wrong with it: There was a message on the screen telling me that I had to restart even though I’d just turned it on. I didn’t like the sounds of that…that’s exactly the kind of thing the dreaded “computer virus” would tell you to do, so I called my grandson Max and he came over to fix it. While I was away, a major news story broke and I wanted to make sure that you were aware of it. That is my duty as a professional, impartial journalist. New York State gubernatorial candidate Jimmy McMillan of the Rent Is Too Damn High Party is the story:

At first, I was saddened that such a quintessential codger had made such an impact on news and politics. Here was a codger that, by some accounts, was superior to myself. I thought to myself, “How can I carry on?” But then I remembered that all we codgers are in this game together. A vote for Jimmy McMillan is a vote for me, The Codger. So remember to vote for Jimmy McMillan this election, even if you have to write his name in on the ballot. I’m going to change my party affiliation to the Rent Is Too Damn High Party, but I’m going to wait until after the election so there’s no confusion with my registration. You are allowed to vote for people who aren’t in your registered party, you know.

Until next time!

Ahoy,

The Codger

More Bad News: R. I. P. Tom Bosley

It’s a sad morning, dear readers. As if the death of Barbara Billingsley was not enough of a tragedy, now we have lost another prominent senior citizen: television celebrity Tom Bosley. I’m nearly too shaken up to talk about it. And Mr. Bosley was only 83! It makes you wonder what’s going on out there in California. Why are the seniors of the Golden State suddenly so vulnerable?   

Let us take a moment to remember Tom Bosley in his prime, doing what he did best: Entertain us. I’m sure most of you young people know Mr. Bosley best from his work on Happy Days, but for my money, those Father Dowling Mysteries were some of the most mysterious mysteries on television, much better than your C. S. I.’s and your Law and Orders, if you want to know the truth. You’d better believe I wrote numerous letters when they took it off the air.

Tom Bosley also sold me my first Studebaker. Not directly, mind you…I bought it from the local dealer in town. But I did watch Tom Bosley’s commercial program for it. That was before he was a celebrity in half-hour programs, so he was getting his start on these shorter programs. Even this early in his acting career, he didn’t “steer” me wrong “L. O. L. Z.!” (I saw my grandniece Tricia spell “L. O. L.” that way, with a “Z”). That was a fine automobile, and Mr. Bosley went on to become a fine senior citizen. Tom Bosley, R. I. P.

Until next time!

Ahoy,

The Codger

Exemplary Codgers: Roni Deutch

Hello again, readers. It’s been a stretch since I’ve told you about an Exemplary Codger to look up to, so I’m going to tell you about one today. I’ll be the first person to admit that an important prerequisite for being an Exemplary Codger is age, but that’s not to say that you can’t become a codger when you’re younger. Or when you’re a woman. Just take a look at Roni Deutch. She’s still a spring chicken, but she’s already become more of a codger than some people ever will be.

The minute you set eyes upon her television commercial and she utters her catchphrase, “Hi, I’m Roni Deutch”, you know you’re in for a treat. If that commercial isn’t number one in the ratings, I would be extremely surprised, shocked even. I couldn’t find it on the YouTube video search engine, but I did find this miniature documentary someone made about her life. It reminds me of one of the old newsreels they used to play at the movies:  Only an Exemplary Codger could call the I. R. S. a Big Bully and get away with it!

I just did some additional research on her official Wikipedia encyclopedia page, and it says that California’s Attorney General is suing Roni for $34 million for swindling money out of her clients, who apparently don’t get their money’s worth. Well of course her services are expensive! You don’t think that spending time with Roni comes cheap, do you? I’d say that it takes a lot of nerve for that Attorney General to sue a lawyer, because lawyers know how to fight back, particularly a good lawyer like Roni Deutch, Exemplary Codger. I hereby give Roni permission to go ahead and add an “Ex.C.” after her “Esq.”    

Until next time!

Ahoy,

The Codger

Happy Birthday to the Common-Law Mrs. Codger, Who Is Good Enough to be My Wife

Good morning this Saturday, dear readers. Well, the big day is finally here: The common-law Mrs. Codger’s birthday. Now I’m not going to divulge her true age, so I’ll stick with the age that she likes to say she is: 49. “Happy 49th birthday, Mrs. Codger” (I will tell her that in person so that she won’t find out about this “lifestyle column”).

As I predicted, I decided to get her some of her favorite perfume, Triangle Perfume. After all that flooding, I had to rush out yesterday and pick some up at the store. We’re also going out to an intimate dinner at that expensive Starbucks café they just opened. Never tried it before, but I’ve heard about it. They say they have food and coffee, and the coffee is their specialty. And they’d better have dancing there. What kind of nicer restaurant doesn’t have dancing?

In honor of the missus’s birthday, I’d like to dedicate this musical video to her that I found on the YouTube video search engine. It’s  a song by the very beautiful country music singer Jeannie C. Riley called “Good Enough To Be Your Wife”, because, like the song says, the common-law Mrs. Codger is good enough to do my cooking and good enough to be my wife.

Until next time!

Ahoy,

The Codger

A Waltz Down Memory Lane

Good Friday morning, dearest readers. I remember when Fridays used to be set aside for dancing. Everyone would gather in whoever had the largest living room, then you would pull up the rug and dance right on the floorboards.

And it was good music too, not that nonsense they’re peddling nowadays. It was songs that were actually about something. I remember one day in 1959 when we had a dance. I believe it was at someone’s wedding. As the bride started marching down the aisle, we all stood up and the organist began playing Shimmy Shimmy Ko-Ko-Bop. Then the judges held up their paddles with their scores, and the winners went home with a room-full of real, American-made furniture and a supply of Geritol Vitamins.

I always liked that song, Shimmy Shimmy Ko-Ko-Bop. Brings back good memories like the time I heard it at a wedding. They even played it on the organ as the guests kept time by snapping their fingers. It was quite a hoot! Here it is playing at some type of event that is not a wedding. What memories does it bring back for you?

Until next time!

Ahoy,

The Codger