The Codger’s Review of “Twilight Eclipse”

Good morning, dear readership. At the request of reader Mr. Wesley Branderson, I have decided to provide you with my review of the film Twilight Eclipse. If you’ll recall, I was planning to see it after my grandniece Tricia’s birthday dinner last Saturday, but those plans fell through. I was understandably disappointed, but last night, I decided to take the missus on a “date” to see it at the theatre. I asked Tricia if she would like to come along, but she said that Derek was going to tutor her in her summer school studies. She’s always on the ball, that girl.

First we stopped at the A. T. V. to take out some money. Then we got to the theatre. We purchased our tickets, but when we went inside, that theatre room was dark, and there were no ushers to help us take our seats. I could not believe it. Just as soon as we sat down, I looked around and realized that it was all young people there, and some of them were dressed weird. I sent Tricia a text message to let her know that we made it to the theatre and were seated. Then the film started.

I will put this in no uncertain terms: Twilight Eclipse is a scary film, so do not take small children to see it. One of the main characters, Edward the Vampire, is all skin and bones, so you know that he’s going to need to suck someone’s blood to eat soon or he’s going to faint. I thought for sure that his victim was going to be the main werewolf because he’s a strong, healthy specimen. Well, that’s the kind of blood that I would want to eat if I were a vampire. But Edward the Vampire is dead-set on sucking the blood of a young Italian lady in the movie named Isabella. But she herself is awfully anemic-looking, so I don’t understand how her blood would provide much nourishment. This is a major “hole in the plot”, as they say. I spent the whole movie afraid that at any moment, a light would go off inside Edward the Vampire’s head and he would start sucking that werewolf’s blood, but luckily for the werewolf, that never happens. Also, someone dies, but it’s not one of the characters I mentioned, so I won’t spoil that part, should you decide to see the film yourself. But like I said, it’s scary, so I wouldn’t take children along to see it.

Until next time!

Ahoy,

The Codger

Critiquing More Members of my Blog Roll (Music)

Ahoy to all of you today. How are you feeling? Are you up to the task of a spirited discussion? As part of today’s discussion, I would like to offer you my reviews of a few more members of my “blog roll” that my grandson Max (known to some of you by his nickname, “M-Fixie”) added for me, just like I did the last time, when I reviewed Hipster Runoff and High Times. Oh, and before I forget, I’d like to thank the good Samaritan who sent an E-mail to inform me about that blog, High Times. Evidently, the edition I reviewed was not just a special issue about medical marijuana, as I had thought. No. In fact, their entire blog is always devoted to marijuana! That’s not the sort of link that is appropriate for my “blog roll” so I removed it at once. I extend my apologies to any of you that might have followed my earlier recommendation to read High Times. Max, why did you add that to my blog roll? Do we need to have a talk?

Speaking of Max, he’s very interested in seeing what I think about the blogs that he recommended for me, since my perspective is often that of an outsider looking at his favorite blogs for the first time. And, you know, I end up liking a lot of them! That’ll show those naysayers who think I’m out of touch with modern culture who’s the out of touch one: them. Today, I’m going to share my thoughts on three blogs about music that Max added to my blog roll.

The Brooklyn Vegan. First of all, I thought that this blog would be about cooking, since vegans are people who don’t eat any meat or animal products. Max went through a vegan phase when he was in art school, which is why I thought he added this Web site to my blog roll. But it’s a blog about music. If they expect to get more hits, they should change their name to something about music. As a new reader to the blog, the articles were easy to find, but the music was more difficult–but I got there eventually. My biggest complaint is that this just isn’t my style of music.

Gorilla Vs. Bear. Now THIS is my style of music. The Gorilla Vs. Bear Blog has an attractive “theme” with a natural-looking wood grain, and all the music is easy to locate. I can’t find any information about the significance of its name, but I take it that “gorilla” refers to the good songs and “bear” to the bad ones, much like the “bulls” and “bears” of the stock market. Fortunately for all of us in society, they write more about the “gorillas”! I’ve got nothing bad to say about this blog. Good pick with this one, Max.

Breakfast At Sulimay’s. This one’s my favorite of all the music blogs. It has videos of three senior citizens—Ann, Bill, and Joe—reviewing songs as they listen to them inside Sulimay’s, a Philadelphia diner. They’re brutally honest and don’t sugar-coat anything, just to show you young people that we seniors aren’t as faint of heart as you think. And you know what? Their opinions are always right, even when they disagree with each other. Here is a typical video segment of Breakfast at Sulimay’s:
Max told me that he could make a video of me reviewing music like the ones on Breakfast At Sulimay’s, but I could never do that. Ann, Bill, and Joe already have that covered, and I would not want to face accusations of being late to the party. Breakfast At Sulimay’s shows that seniors can do things all by ourselves, and we can do them better than anyone at any age. Max, I sincerely hope that you add some more music blogs to my blog roll in the near future. I’m really enjoying learning about all this new music.

Until next time!

Ahoy,

The Codger