A fine morning to you, fine readers. As they say in real estate circles, “location is everything”. That’s why it’s so important for your neighborhood to look as nice as it can. All it takes is one unattractive house to spoil an entire neighborhood. They have no right to bring down my property value! No right! One solution to this problem is to get that TV program called Curb Appeal: The Block to come to your neighborhood. They’ll renovate one main house for $20,000 and some neighboring houses for around $1,000…let’s just say that my house wouldn’t be the one that needs the $20,000 make-over and leave it at that. The idea is that the rest of the neighborhood will then feel compelled to “keep up with the Joneses” and try to out-renovate each other, creating a beautiful, peaceful community with sky-high property values.
Since I haven’t heard back from the producers of Curb Appeal: The Block yet, I decided to do the next big thing: I put notes on everyone’s doors instructing them what to do to get our property values up. That’s sure to boost morale. One thing I put on everyone’s list was telling them to install a mailbox beehive like mine. One is good, but a whole street full of them is even better. Just think of the pollination. It would probably be some kind of record. I also gave advice tailored to each neighbor specifically: Mr. “H” could stand to plant some flowers in his window boxes, and Mr. and Mrs. “P” should trim the shrubs growing under their bay window. I am sure it wouldn’t cost very much to hire someone.
I also told Mr. and Mrs. “S.” to paint their shutters and Mr. and Mrs. “B.” to tear down their front porch before it rots off. I’m sick and tired of having to look at that front porch day after day. They also need to add a second story to their house so it matches their next door neighbors’ house, but I can’t see them getting around to that in my lifetime. And that’s how you can re-energize your neighborhood and keep it looking ship-shape. I can practically feel my own neighborhood’s spirit rising already.
Until next time!