Posts Tagged ‘staycation’

I Am Not Allowed to Tell You Who to Vote For, So I’m Just Going to Tell You to Vote

A very pleasant Monday to you, dear readers. I am positively wrapped with guilt for not being with you this weekend. You see, me and the missus decided to take a romantic spur-of-the-moment “staycation” (buzzword) to Atlantic City just like we used to do. In case you were wondering, I lost. And to add insult to injury, when we got back, I fired up my computer only to find that there was something wrong with it: There was a message on the screen telling me that I had to restart even though I’d just turned it on. I didn’t like the sounds of that…that’s exactly the kind of thing the dreaded “computer virus” would tell you to do, so I called my grandson Max and he came over to fix it. While I was away, a major news story broke and I wanted to make sure that you were aware of it. That is my duty as a professional, impartial journalist. New York State gubernatorial candidate Jimmy McMillan of the Rent Is Too Damn High Party is the story:

At first, I was saddened that such a quintessential codger had made such an impact on news and politics. Here was a codger that, by some accounts, was superior to myself. I thought to myself, “How can I carry on?” But then I remembered that all we codgers are in this game together. A vote for Jimmy McMillan is a vote for me, The Codger. So remember to vote for Jimmy McMillan this election, even if you have to write his name in on the ballot. I’m going to change my party affiliation to the Rent Is Too Damn High Party, but I’m going to wait until after the election so there’s no confusion with my registration. You are allowed to vote for people who aren’t in your registered party, you know.

Until next time!

Ahoy,

The Codger

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Another Exciting Discovery in my Victory Garden


Greetings to you, dear readers, on this beautiful Friday. While I was outside digging in my victory garden yesterday, I unearthed a pleasant surprise. While I am accustomed to coming across abundant humus deposits in my soil, I was taken aback when I discovered some natural clay. That victory garden is certainly turning out to be a horn of plenty! Not wanting to let it go to waste, I crafted a plan to take a little “staycation” (that’s what they’re calling “vacations” nowadays) and make some pottery.

First you have to knead the clay so you get all the air bubbles out. If you don’t, you’ll be breaking with a tradition that dates back thousands of years, and you wouldn’t want to do that, now would you? Once you’ve kneaded your clay, then you have to make your vessel. Since I don’t have a kiln, I decided to fire my clay in my oven. To keep it tidy, I used the self-clean mode. Somewhere along the line, I must have done something wrong, because my pottery fell apart. It may have even exploded a bit. Oh well. You live and you learn. Next time, I’ll have to try it in the microwave and see if it works any better.

Do you know what I was thinking yesterday? I was thinking, “I haven’t heard from my grandniece Tricia lately.” So I sent her a text (txt) on my cellular phone, and she sent me a text saying that she had some good news. But right then and there, I had the idea that she should save her good news for all of us and Blog about it here tomorrow. I know you all always love hearing her unique perspective on the world, and I know you’ll be happy to share in her good news. I am looking forward to hearing what it is. I wonder if she got a scholarship to the University of Phoenix. I wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest.

Until next time!

Ahoy,

The Codger