Ahoy, dear readers. I just got in last night, but I didn’t want to write and wake you up because it was late. I had a bit of an emergency last week, which called for emergency measures. You see, and I’ll put this as delicately as possible: The missus was having one of her moods, spreading misery everywhere she went. And since the missus frequents our house, that meant I had to escape the premises as soon as I realized her condition.
So that’s why I decided to bunk with my old pal Hiram’s place. He doesn’t have a bunk bed, but he does have a guest room, which was more than suitable. In my haste to escape my house, I neglected to take my computer, but it did not matter because Hiram doesn’t buy the Internet for his house.
Without the Internet, I wrote all my thoughts down on paper instead. My most impressive accomplishment was inventing the external combustion engine. I made the plans right on a cocktail napkin. I’m sick and tired of every engine being internal combustion. That’s why we need a change, and I came up with the idea, so I don’t want any of you stealing credit for it.
When I thought the coast might be clear, I phoned the missus. I made her assure me that she had our house fumigated before I agreed to come home. She said she did. I did not inquire as to whether they had erected a tent over the house and fumigated it that way or the other way, but I suppose it doesn’t matter as long as it was professionals that did the job.
Until next time!