Posts Tagged ‘children’

Watching Nevaeh All Day

Good day to you, dear friends. Well now, after spending yesterday watching over little Nevaeh, I am proud to report that I have successfully transferred guardianship of her back over to her mother, Jessica. Truth be told, I’m not as young as I used to be, and an entire day watching the little one wore me out!

It all started when Jessica, Tricia, and Derek left for the park. Jessica handed me Nevaeh and my paternal instincts kicked in right away. Those instincts told me that sometimes, a difficult youngster requires a woman’s touch. So I brought in the expert: the common-law Mrs. Codger. While she was assessing the situation, I headed over to the hardware store to buy some supplies for my next home “reno”. The clerk tried to sell me on some of that off-the-shelf stuff, but I demanded builder grade paint and countertops, the kind they only sell to the professional builders. Nothing but the best for my home! I told the clerk that I am good friends with a lady contractor, and that’s why it’s OK to sell me the builder grade stuff. The builder grade paint he sold me is the whitest white paint I’ve ever seen! It’s stunning. I also picked up what they call “naughty pine” paneling for my walls because I’ve heard them mention it on the Home and Garden TV Channel.

When I got home, Nevaeh had finally calmed down, so we all ate dinner together as a family (using our family values) and then watched some television until Tricia, Derek, and Jessica got home around 10:15. They said they had a fun time at the park, and that’s just about the time that I gave Nevaeh back to Jessica. I hope Jessica took full responsibility for her for the rest of the evening so that Derek had time to prepare mentally for his first day on the job as the new Secretary of My Home Land’s Security serving in my administration. 

Until next time!

Ahoy,

The Codger

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Exemplary Codgers: Virgie Arthur


Greetings to you, my audience. Today I will be naming the latest inductee into my Exemplary Codgers series. If you were thinking that only men could be Exemplary Codgers, you’re wrong. Today’s Exemplary Codger is Virgie Arthur, who had to deal with an obstinate child.

Virgie gave birth to a daughter she named Vickie Lynn Hogan. But like many members of the younger generation are prone to do, Vickie Lynn soon started to rebel. She dropped out of high school, got a job at a fried chicken restaurant, became a stripper, and changed her name to Anna Nicole Smith. But with fame came a cost: rebellion. The recipient of that rebellion? Her mother, Virgie, who was forced to sue Anna Nicole’s common-law husband Howard K. Stern and a bunch of her blogger friends for libeling her as an abuser and as someone who had mated with her own step-brother, producing a son. In the end, the only person Anna Nicole ended up defaming was herself: Her reality show was cancelled, and as her fame subsided, Virgie’s increased. Ironically, Virgie ended up becoming just as famous as her daughter without having to strip-tease.

A Candid Photo of Virgie Arthur at www.starpulse.com/news/media/Virgie.jpg

My research hasn’t yet yielded the results of the lawsuits, but I do know that there is nothing that can stop a Codger’s love. I am sure that Virgie did the best she could with the resources available to her. Although Anna Nicole Smith may have passed away (RIP), the Wikipedia encyclopedia agrees with my recollection of those times: That Virgie threw her support behind Larry Birkhead in the custody battle over Anna Nicole’s daughter, Dannielynn Birkhead, and not behind Howard K. Stern. And you know what? Virgie was right. Larry Birkhead was the father and got custody (I figured that out before anyone else, based on her last name). Even after the passing of her daughter, mother knew best. I can just imagine Anna Nicole smiling benevolently down on Virgie, having learned her lesson and knowing that her mother will have the same relationship with Dannielynn that she once had with Anna Nicole herself, back when things were simpler. Those were the days.

Until next time!

Ahoy,

The Codger