I Am Not Allowed to Tell You Who to Vote For, So I’m Just Going to Tell You to Vote

A very pleasant Monday to you, dear readers. I am positively wrapped with guilt for not being with you this weekend. You see, me and the missus decided to take a romantic spur-of-the-moment “staycation” (buzzword) to Atlantic City just like we used to do. In case you were wondering, I lost. And to add insult to injury, when we got back, I fired up my computer only to find that there was something wrong with it: There was a message on the screen telling me that I had to restart even though I’d just turned it on. I didn’t like the sounds of that…that’s exactly the kind of thing the dreaded “computer virus” would tell you to do, so I called my grandson Max and he came over to fix it. While I was away, a major news story broke and I wanted to make sure that you were aware of it. That is my duty as a professional, impartial journalist. New York State gubernatorial candidate Jimmy McMillan of the Rent Is Too Damn High Party is the story:

At first, I was saddened that such a quintessential codger had made such an impact on news and politics. Here was a codger that, by some accounts, was superior to myself. I thought to myself, “How can I carry on?” But then I remembered that all we codgers are in this game together. A vote for Jimmy McMillan is a vote for me, The Codger. So remember to vote for Jimmy McMillan this election, even if you have to write his name in on the ballot. I’m going to change my party affiliation to the Rent Is Too Damn High Party, but I’m going to wait until after the election so there’s no confusion with my registration. You are allowed to vote for people who aren’t in your registered party, you know.

Until next time!

Ahoy,

The Codger

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One response to this post.

  1. […] on a bad note: I bought the local newspaper solely for the purpose of reading about the victory of my favored candidate, Jimmy McMillan of the Rent Is Too Damn High Party. I was quite alarmed to find that the newspaper didn’t make a single mention of […]

    Reply

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