The Codger’s Ongoing Feud

Good morning, dear readers. Have any of you ever had an ongoing feud with your postman? I have. It all started when he started complaining about my bees, which lived in my mailbox…said he wasn’t going to get stung just to deliver my mail. I told him that my bees had never stung anyone without being provoked. Not a single unprovoked attack! But he wasn’t budging, and I wanted to get my mail. I’m not about to get one of those new post office boxes. Did you know that some places won’t even ship to those?

 So what did I do? I built a whole new mailbox so my postman could have one and my bees could have one. Separate and equal. But that wasn’t good enough for Mr. Mail-carrier. Now he’s complaining that he can’t open the door on my new mailbox. I built that mailbox with my own two hands, and I’ll tell you, that door works perfectly. Of course, I wouldn’t expect someone who drives a car with the steering wheel on the wrong side to know how to work a mailbox door properly anyhow.

Getting back to the matter at hand, at first I thought that this was all a big racket to get me to buy that post office box I don’t want. I’ve heard that the post office is losing money, so they’d probably be more than happy to get their hands on a few of my dollars. You probably haven’t noticed, but the price of a regular stamp has been going up lately, the opposite of the rest of the economy. So I ruled out that theory entirely. Now I think that postman must be in cahoots with my son Brian. He’s always trying to make my life difficult.

Until next time!

Ahoy,

The Codger

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2 responses to this post.

  1. Good morning to you, Codger.

    I’ve been thinking about your situation, and I’m perplexed. According to my grandmother, you’re supposed to catch more flies–in this case, your postman–with honey. It makes me wonder–and I don’t want to offend you–but perhaps you have the wrong sort of bees making the wrong sort of honey. Even though I’m sure it’s delicious.

    Or maybe you can offer your postman a jar. I know people in his profession like those sorts of gifts at holiday time…

    Yours truly,

    Maura

    Reply

    • Hello again, Miss Maura. Your grandmother sounds like a bright woman, and as I’m sure you know, it’s always prudent to take advice from we old-timers, since we tend to be right. My bees didn’t generate any honey this year (I have my suspicions they might be carpenter bees, not honeybees, but I’ve grown too attached to exterminate them)…but I remember the time I tried to inspire them to create honey by pouring some honey inside the mailbox. I reckon that if my postman enjoyed honey, he just would’ve stolen that honey, which he didn’t.

      Best regards,
      The Codger

      Reply

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