The Codger’s Trip to the Liquor Store

Ahoy to you this morn, all you hosses. Now I fully comprehend that “hoss” means “horse”, but as for me, I’ve always been inclined to think of a hoss as more of a pig than a horse. It just sounds better that way.

Now that we’re all on the same page, so to speak, I would like to take some time to tell you about what happened to me when I went to the liquor store yesterday. As I was parking my car in the lot, I took notice of some youths loitering near the façade of the building. That’s never a good sign of anything good to come, but I decided to go in to get my gin, since I had driven all the way there.

So I got out of the car and tried to make a go for the front door, but my presence did not go unnoticed. One of the youths said something to me, something along the lines of “hey” or “hi”. In the overall scheme of things, it’s only a few words from “hey” to “can you buy we underage minors some booze?” Well I would want no part of such a scam. I had brought along enough money for my gin and not a penny more, and I wasn’t about to go wasting my hard-earned money on gifting alcohol to those juveniles. So I nipped that conversation right in the bud and did not speak to those young people. Then, when I was trying to pay, there was a rather buxom woman in front of me, and she was taking too long. To be continued…

Until next time!


The Codger


4 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Charlie on September 28, 2010 at 10:04 am

    Hail fellow well met. Yesterday I was furious reading about Brian’s latest fiasco, but relieved that Tricia will finally be returned to good hands. Maybe you can adopt her outright.

    Regarding your trip to the liquor store, I think the youths outside were just nervous being suddenly in the presence of a prominent US media pundit. Next time I suggest wearing your Panama hat, you wouldn’t want to show up on Inside Edition with a bottle of Gordon’s in hand.

    Be safe,


    • Good evening to you, Mr. Charlie. Ah, I think you might have had a little mix up regarding The Codger Family Tree: my grandniece Tricia is the daughter of my deceased brother’s son Billy (not my friend Billy) and his wife, Dawn. They’re the ones that live out there in Kansas. Of course, I’d certainly say that more often than not, my nephew Billy shares his cousin Brian’s complete lack of common sense! They could both use a good talking-to now and again.

      As for your advice about wearing a disguise, I think that’s a splendid idea. If I recall correctly (and I’m sure that I do), I’ve worn that very disguise you described before, and it resulted in both anonymity and acclaim. With all those yellow journalists out to get me, I should take more precautions.

      Best regards,
      The Codger


  2. Posted by Charlie on September 28, 2010 at 8:29 pm

    Dear fellow,

    I stand corrected, and best regards to Fiona. I blame my wife.

    As ever,


  3. […] About « The Codger’s Trip to the Liquor Store […]


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