A Short Night of Bridge

I hope you are having a good morning, dear readers. Like I was explaining to you yesterday, I was baking a cake and going over to my buddy Hiram’s for bridge. Well, as dedicated reader of this “lifestyle column” Alter Ebro had predicted, there was an error in the recipe I was using for the cake. You see, I got the recipe over the phone, and the missus said “marjoram” when she meant to say “margarine”. The more I think about it, the surer I am: She definitely said “marjoram” and it wasn’t a hearing lapse on my part. Anyhow, the cake turned out inedible, so we had to stop and pick up an Entenmann’s on the way to Hiram’s. I selected the “Louisiana Crunch” flavor, which seemed most similar to my own cake (minus the marjoram).  

By the time we got there, I was really itching to play some bridge. We paired off stags versus hens and dealt the cards. Now for those of you who don’t know how to play bridge, I won’t go into the full set of rules here, but let it be known that you don’t want to open up the bidding on a lousy card. But that’s exactly what my missus did. I knew right then and there that she was going to be what’s known in the world of bridge as the “dummy” in the game.

Luckily for her, Hiram’s wife Dot’s angina flared up so we had to call the game off. If we hadn’t, me and Hiram would’ve taken them for all they were worth. And, wouldn’t you know it, by the time we got home, Hiram had left a message on my answering machine saying that Dot had just had a bout of acid indigestion, and it wasn’t her angina after all.

Until next time!                                                         


The Codger


2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by alter ebro on September 21, 2010 at 10:56 am

    Ahoy, Codger,

    Thanks for the “shout out.” Sounds like Mrs. Hiram pulled some shenanigans on your game. In such a situation, is the proper etiquette to take the Louisiana Crunch back home with you uneaten, or leave it with your host who has cut short the evening?

    These types of social conundrums always trip me up. Although there’s a fifty/fifty chance of getting it right, I seem to perpetually err in these situations. I blame society.



    • Hello to you again, Alter Ebro. Fortunately, I wasn’t faced with the dilemma you described because Dot was too busy concerning herself with her angina and Hiram has to cut down on his sweets anyway. By taking the cake with me, I was actually doing him a favor, because he would’ve ended up eating it all by tomorrow.

      When it comes to social situations like this, I like to remember a sticker they were giving away in the produce department of the supermarket a couple years ago. It says, “When in doubt, throw it out”. I keep that sticker on my refrigerator, and it reminds me that when you throw it out, no one can fight over it.

      All the best,
      The Codger


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