Undercover Codger

A most grand morning to you, all my readers. Of course, while you might be waking up presently, your industrious Codger has been busy all morning—the whole morning. When I woke up, I realized that I needed to get to go to the store to buy some cold cereal. But because I, like most media figureheads, could easily be recognized by members of the general public (especially ones who read this “lifestyle column”), I thought it best to wear a disguise.

I routed through the missus’ drawers to see if she had any extra wigs lying around, but she didn’t, probably because she doesn’t wear a wig. So I had to go with a hat instead. But which hat? My Panama hat. Definitely my Panama hat. No one would suspect a Panamanian denizen of being a prominent US media pundit. I also wore my blue jacket, the one I never wear because I don’t like it very much. There aren’t many people around here who have seen me wearing that jacket in public.

My disguise worked: Not a single person accosted me by requesting an autograph or criticizing my stance on any issues in the news on which I have an opinion. Then I took my cold cereal home. Basic Four is the one I bought, because it includes all four food groups: Meat, fruits, vegetables, and dairy. To get at the precious bounty inside, I filleted the box like a soft shelled crab…you just slice it up the middle. I’ve found over the years that that’s the best way to do it. Media hotshots like myself tend to refer to ourselves as “early adapters” when we do things like that which other people don’t.

Until next time!

Ahoy,

The Codger

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2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Charlie on September 17, 2010 at 5:00 pm

    Hail fellow well met, and congratulations on procuring your bounty undetected. And congratulations, too, on completing your renos. Should the inheritance skip a generation, M-fixie’s bride will be a lucky lady indeed.

    Onward and upward,
    Charlie

    Reply

    • Ahoy, Mr. Charlie. Thank you for your words of congratulations. They are always trying to make it so hard to open those cereal boxes that sometimes you just have to think “outside the box” to get inside the box to the cereal inside. As for my grandson M-fixie (as he likes to be called), yes, he’s going to make some lady very happy someday. Why, I think I’ll give him a ring on his cellular now. We have the same phone company, so even though he’s in California, it’s not a toll call.

      Best wishes,
      The Codger

      Reply

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