The Codger’s Government Cheese Omelet Recipe


Hello and welcome back to my “lifestyle column”. You know what you need? Some pearls of wisdom…. from The Codger. I am happy to comply.

I have for you today a delicious recipe for a government cheese omelet. My Uncle Roosevelt (that was his first name, not his surname) used to get so much government cheese that he didn’t know what to do with it all, so he would give most of it to me and the common-law Mrs. Codger. Whole blocks of it! We’d have to shove it in the cup holders just to get it home! And let me tell you: That cheese was better than any cheese you could buy in the store. Those were the days before the government got cheap and cut off funding for most of the extremely delicious subsidization programs I so used to enjoy. An added benefit was that with the money I saved, I could put more of my money into an additional suet basket for my bird feeding area by my porch. That was when the government was at work for us, and not the other way around. Some of you will probably remember.

Now the first Mrs. Codger would have been able to turn that government cheese into dozens of delicious meals. She may have been a bit “touched”, but the woman knew how to cook. But since I was living with the current Mrs. Codger at the time, I had to rely on my own resourcefulness to turn all that cheese into a meal worthy of Mr. Zagat himself (three or more stars). That’s why I am going to share with you my recipe so that, should the government ever decide to trot out its cheese program again, you’ll be able to take full advantage of it:

Ingredients:
Government cheese (lots)
Four eggs (hen fruit)

Instructions:
Cook in pan until done

Until next time!

Ahoy,

The Codger

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4 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by alter ebro on August 25, 2010 at 11:53 am

    Namaste, Codger. Today’s edition of your lifestyle column couldn’t have come at a better time! I have just returned from the supermarket where they were holding a BOGO (that’s buy one, get one) sale on a dozen and a half eggs. That means I am looking for ways to consume 36 hen fruit in the very-near future.

    IYO should I wait to see if President Obama brings back the cheese program? Or is there another type of cheese I might substitute in the place of “Government cheese (lots)”? Also, can you recommend a substitute for “pan.” I don’t have one.

    Thanks!

    aE

    Reply

    • Hello, Codger! Today’s lifestyle column (besides being another gem) brings back a lot of good memories. Back in the late 1970s, early 1980s, I think it was, my great aunt would give us government cheese that I think she obtained on the black market ($5 for a brick of cheese as big as a loaf of bread, as I recall). It was especially good on friend bologna sandwiches.

      Reply

      • Hello there, Mr. Pack. Thank you for your kind words regarding my little lifestyle column. I like the sound of your great aunt…The late 1970s and 1980s may have been riddled with discos and Iran Contra Scandals, but government cheese more than made up for those shortcomings, in my opinion. I normally do not condone engaging in black market activities, but for a value (and a taste) that great, I am willing to make an exception.

        Best regards,
        The Codger

    • It’s nice to hear from you again, Alter Ebro. It sounds like you got yourself quite a deal at the market! Unfortunately, no cheese can truly compare to government cheese, but if you’re looking for a substitute, I always like my omelets with cottage cheese. As for finding a substitute for a pan, you should try getting your hands on the GT Xpress 101 cooker that nice redheaded lady sells on the TV. I think her name is Cathy something-or-another.

      Happy cooking,
      The Codger

      Reply

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