The Results of My Trip to the Doctor’s Office

Good day, my loyal readership. As you know, my son Brian took me to my doctor’s appointment yesterday afternoon. Actually, it wasn’t an appointment with my own doctor at all, but a specialist that Brian wanted me to see. A gerontologist. I never thought I’d see the day that my own son thought I would need to see a gerontologist, but I decided to humor him just to see the expression on his face when that doctor gave me a clean bill of health.

On the way there, Brian drove extremely slow past a new building they just put up. He said he thinks it’s a new warehouse, but it didn’t look like any warehouse I’ve ever seen. It looked like a HOME. Probably the HOME Brian’s going to try to put me in the minute it opens for business. Why else would he point it out? I can tell he’s been conspiring to put me in a home ever since I accidentally started that fire at his Christmas party last year. Then he started in about the temperature when we drove past the bank, and how I had to be careful not to over-exert myself in the heat. I told him that the temperature isn’t what matters. It’s the dewpoint and not the temperature or the humidity. Dewpoints are the best thing they’ve ever come up with. They tell you all you need to know. I told Brian, “Take me past a bank with a dewpoint thermometer, then we’ll talk.”

That gerontologist told me I’m perfectly healthy, but that I should go back for a check-up in three months just to be on the safe side. Like I always say, you never can be too safe. After I told the good doctor about how my son thinks I’m losing my mind, he took Brian into his office alone. It’s about time that somebody gave him a good talking to! It’s a good thing Brian doesn’t know about this “lifestyle column”, because he’d blow a gasket! He probably wouldn’t even know what a lifestyle column is in the first place, so I’d put the odds of him finding out about it at slim to none.

Until next time!


The Codger


4 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Charlie on August 13, 2010 at 9:40 am

    Good morning, fellow. Boy, the more I read about this Brian, the less I like him. I hope the doctor gave him a good drubbing! I don’t care for doctors myself, but that’s just me. Most people I knew, at the time of their death, were surrounded by doctors.



  2. A fine day to you, Mr. Charlie,

    Judging by how quiet he was on the drive home, that doctor sure let Brian have it! Serves him right for doubting his own father’s mental capacity! I understand your distrust of doctors (you have to be careful because a lot of them are quacks), but you have to remember that the great Dr. C. Everett Koop is a doctor, so they do have the ability to become great.

    Best wishes,
    The Codger


  3. Hey Codger:
    Have you heard the joke by George Burns: “When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I’m labeled senile.” (Just you and me Kid – 1979) I love it.


    • Hello Hamster,

      I hadn’t heard that one before, but I like it. Very appropriate! Of course, everything involving George and Gracie turned to gold.

      The Codger


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