Good day, my loyal readership. As you know, my son Brian took me to my doctor’s appointment yesterday afternoon. Actually, it wasn’t an appointment with my own doctor at all, but a specialist that Brian wanted me to see. A gerontologist. I never thought I’d see the day that my own son thought I would need to see a gerontologist, but I decided to humor him just to see the expression on his face when that doctor gave me a clean bill of health.
On the way there, Brian drove extremely slow past a new building they just put up. He said he thinks it’s a new warehouse, but it didn’t look like any warehouse I’ve ever seen. It looked like a HOME. Probably the HOME Brian’s going to try to put me in the minute it opens for business. Why else would he point it out? I can tell he’s been conspiring to put me in a home ever since I accidentally started that fire at his Christmas party last year. Then he started in about the temperature when we drove past the bank, and how I had to be careful not to over-exert myself in the heat. I told him that the temperature isn’t what matters. It’s the dewpoint and not the temperature or the humidity. Dewpoints are the best thing they’ve ever come up with. They tell you all you need to know. I told Brian, “Take me past a bank with a dewpoint thermometer, then we’ll talk.”
That gerontologist told me I’m perfectly healthy, but that I should go back for a check-up in three months just to be on the safe side. Like I always say, you never can be too safe. After I told the good doctor about how my son thinks I’m losing my mind, he took Brian into his office alone. It’s about time that somebody gave him a good talking to! It’s a good thing Brian doesn’t know about this “lifestyle column”, because he’d blow a gasket! He probably wouldn’t even know what a lifestyle column is in the first place, so I’d put the odds of him finding out about it at slim to none.
Until next time!