Hiram Gets a New Car; I Prepare for My 100th Anniversary

I bid you a wonderful day, loyal readers. I was pleasantly surprised yesterday evening when my old buddy Hiram dropped by (dropped by my house, not my “lifestyle column”, since he’s not on the Internet yet). Nine times out of ten he calls first, but yesterday I heard a honk from in front of my house. I figured it was just Derek and his friends racing their cars down my street, but it’s a good thing I went to investigate, because it was my buddy Hiram.

He was sitting behind the wheel of a beautiful, brand new silver Sebring, or what I thought was a brand new Sebring. It turned out that it was a 2002, but you would have no idea because it is in pristine condition. Immaculate, and loaded up with all the power options: power locks, power windows, power brakes, the works. The previous owner had really taken fantastic care of that car. Hiram said that he had just gotten a great deal on it, and he wanted to take me out for a drink to celebrate. So off we went to that bar across from the gymnasium. I had always avoided that bar because it looks like the kind of place that only carries that cheapo brand, Well gin, but surprisingly, they had the good stuff.

In case you haven’t been keeping track, tomorrow is the 100th anniversary of this here “lifestyle column” (From the desk of The Codger): It will be my 100th article I’ve blogged on the Internet. Join me, The Codger, for a very special column in recognition of my tremendous achievements here tomorrow at https://thecodger.wordpress.com/.

Until next time!


The Codger


4 responses to this post.

  1. Codger, congratulations on your upcoming 100th post! Yours is one of the most entertaining blogs I’ve come across. Cheers!


    • Ahoy Mr. Pack. Thank you for your kind words. I am glad you have been enjoying reading about my little slices of life!

      Best wishes,
      The Codger


  2. Dear Codger,
    I don’t mean to put a damper on your special centennial, but i strongly suggest you do not make the transition into the big 1-0-0. I’ve found that most of my friends, upon reaching triple digits, soon pass away. Heart attacks, strokes, car accidents, assassinations, cancer and shortness of breath seem to be ol’ #100’s compadres. Might I suggest you skip your 100th blog and go straight to your 101st blog, sort of like how the elevator skips the 13th floor in this shit-ass retirement home my kids put me in. I apologize for the vulgarity, it’s 3:14am, so I just woke up and haven’t had my coffee yet.
    Yours in Friendship,


    • Good morning Mr. Branderson,

      I did not notice your warning until just now, and I had already clicked the “publish” button on my special 100th article. But don’t you go fretting about The Codger. I’m as healthy as a horse. Besides, I’ve been noticing more and more centenarians these days who have been living a good five or six years beyond their 100th. I’m sorry to hear about your retirement home. I have a pal in a county-run home, and the food there is terrible. I should know: I tasted a bite of it once! If my son Brian ever puts me in a home, he can just forget about inheriting my lucrative reverse mortgage.

      Kind regards,
      The Codger


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