I’m Going to Raise My Own Shrimp

A good morning to you, all you readers out there. Have you noticed the price of shrimp lately? I’ve stopped ordering them when I go out to eat because I think they’re too expensive for what you get. And half the time, it’s more breading than shrimp anyway. Even at the grocery store, prices have been going up, up, up. With the BP oil spill still gushing into the Gulf at full-force, I don’t expect shrimp to become affordable for anyone but society’s wealthiest anytime in the foreseeable future. But thanks to the marvel known to you and me as the Internet, I’ve located some simple instructions to help me pull myself up by my bootstraps. This is what is known as “self-help”, and it’s a new method that will one day replace psychology altogether.

Here are the instructions: Here. They’re the blueprint for a home shrimp hatchery you can make out some common household trinkets: A soda bottle, a wire, an airstone, and an air pump. The best part of all is that you can keep it right in your fry tank, so the minute you’re ready for some fried shrimp, you can just pour them right in. It says it’s for a kind of shrimp called “brine shrimp”. I don’t know that I’ve ever had brine shrimp before, but I have had brine pork, which had a real tang to it, nice and salty. Brine usually means that it’s salty, which is fine by me. And at least they’ll taste American, unlike those imported Asian shrimp that are flooding the market. I can always tell the difference.

According to my research, the best place to get your brine shrimp eggs is at the pet shop. I’ll have to be careful not to let the clerks know that I’m not going to be keeping these shrimp as pets! They might not sell them to me if they knew! I don’t mind making the trip since I have to pick up some dog food for my Welsh corgi, Hannah Montana. While I’m out, I’m also going to pick up a water testing kit because I’m starting to suspect I have hard water. There’s been a grimy build-up in my shower and on my spigots, and I want to know why. I’m not going to jeopardize my shrimp harvest’s quality by raising them in hard water.

Until next time!


The Codger


5 responses to this post.

  1. Hey Codge, gave you the “blog bump.” enjoy your ~tenfold increase in readership



  2. A good day to you, Brory. Thanks to you for writing that “Blog bump”. I paid a visit to your Blog and was most impressed, so I Blog bumped you on my Blogroll so I can remember the Web address. I particularly enjoyed your high-quality illstration of that whale.

    The Codger


  3. Hi Codger: Let us know how the shrimp experiment works out; I tried to raise fish in an aquarium years ago and I kept killing them, so I quit. I felt bad. I think now, that I let the water go too long before cleaning the tank and then completely dumped all the old water and put in fresh. I think the pH or chlorine or something was too much for them to adjust to.


    • Hello to you, Hamster. I am sorry to hear about your deceased fish. You have my sympathy. I fully intend to keep my readership up-to-date on my shrimps’ progress in their hatchery. I expect big things from those little eggs! I purchased a pH kit while I was shopping today, and the results were astounding. I’ll definitely mention them in my article tomorrow for this “lifestyle column”.

      The Codger


  4. […] « I’m Going to Raise My Own Shrimp “The Jilting of Granny Weatherall” Reminds Us to Report Suspected Elder Abuse […]


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