Woodstock: The Hippies Ruined It

Good morning, my valued audience members. Thank you for attending our latest 21st Century Fireside Chat (a term also used by none other than Mr. Franklin Delano Roosevelt himself!). I hope you enjoyed my grandniece Tricia’s first blog here yesterday. She’s great raw material, but there’s still a lot she can learn from The Codger!

You know what I’m sick of? I’m sick of how the media glorifies the Woodstock Music Festival, puts it up on a pedestal. Woodstock would’ve been good, but then the hippies showed up and ruined it. What could have been a nice concert in the middle of a field turned into a disorganized mess once the hippies heard about it. They started showing up (uninvited), and then they got the idea to abandon their cars on the side of the road and start camping all over the place. There were probably hippies on motorcycles and mo-peds cutting between all the cars and not waiting their turn, making traffic even more of a mess.

Of course, because of the traffic situation, the hippies’ “hippie values” started spreading like wildfire: Incense everywhere, not bathing, malaise, disheveled appearance, talking disrespectfully to authority figures, and wearing strange clothes. Their cars were blocking the roads, preventing the police from coming in and saying what they should have said: “Look, anyone who doesn’t want to get shot, either leave or start acting like normal people.”

Parents, don’t let your children grow up to be like this!

What was the real reason the hippies started camping? Well, along with themselves, they also brought along several hippie bands to steal the stage, with the hidden agenda of turning the one day concert into three grueling days of drawn-out, unplanned nonsense. To think that hippie bands like Santana and Herman’s Hermits hogged the stage, forcing the true greats like the Jefferson Airplane and Arlo Guthrie to play practically in the middle of the night…it was a disgrace! Half the crowd probably went to sleep by that point.

I’m not sure if they’re planning to have another Woodstock Music Festival again, but if they do, I hope they learned some lessons from the first one. Maybe next time it will be remembered as being something other than disorganized. They need to get more cleaning personnel, and require baggage screeners. It’s not that hard to look at someone’s luggage and know if they’re a hippie! If they are, they don’t get in. Simple as that. That’s why you need to put up barricades. Once that hippie element gets a foothold, it’s only a matter of time before you start to see things change for the worse.

Until next time!


The Codger


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