Ahoy, Internet readership. Although you might not be setting sail for much of anything at the moment, starting today, I will allow you to live vicariously through me (in the event that you haven’t been already) as I set course for the shore. How will I do that, you might ask? Well, I will blog about my vacation right here in this very lifestyle column. I’ll be departing as soon as I finish writing this article.
You might be interested in knowing which beach town I’m going to be vacationing in. Well, I’m not going to disclose that information because then all the criminals on the Internet will know where I am and come rob me. That being said, I think it’s safe to rule out Atlantic City—that place has really gone downhill over the years. It isn’t what it used to be back in the ‘50s. Back then, there were pretty girls as far as you could see–a fact I documented in my comment at one of my new favorite blogs, Hipster Runoff–and you could walk down the boardwalk and get hamburgers five for a dollar. If you were wealthier, you would eat at the nicer sit-down restaurant—I forget the name—where the hamburgers were three for a dollar. That was the only difference: The one place was five for a dollar, and the other was three for a dollar. But they were exactly the same hamburgers!
Then Atlantic City went downhill, and that’s why I’ve been going to Ocean City ever since. That’s a dry town. Keeps out the riffraff. If I see any delinquent activity there during my vacation, you, my readers, will be the first to hear about it, and I’ll have to start thinking of a different beach town to go to next year.
Until next time!