Hello, loyal readers. A fine Monday to you all. Of course, because this is the day of my Mall Walkers Club’s “half-marathon”, I do not have the time for a full-length article today; rather, I think a brief paragraph to keep you abreast of my current status is in order. I must commend young Max for filling in for me yesterday. When he said that he was influenced by the great Kerouac, that was an understatement…his modesty precluded him from stating the truth, which is that his writing is better than Kerouac’s. He managed to make the same point in a scant few paragraphs that Kerouac needed an entire book to convey. Max will be coming to the mall this evening to congratulate me as I finish the race, aided by his sister Fiona, his father, and the common-law Mrs. Codger.
I’m thinking of investing in the juicer Montel Williams endorses on his eponymous talk show along with his daily guest, the noted senior citizen (and psychic) Sylvia Browne. As Ms. Browne says, “Animal totems, like the tiger, come from the Other Side to protect us while we are away from Home.” I think I might have noticed some animal totems in the furniture store at the mall yesterday, so here’s hoping that they protect me from breaking a hip in the race today. If any readers own the Montel Williams/Sylvia Browne juicer, do you know if you can juice meats in it? I like the idea of a freshly-squeezed, drinkable meal, but I think it would be better if I could include as many of the four food groups in one glass as possible.
Until next time!