Dear readers, welcome back. Pull up a chair to the computer. Stay awhile. Just please try not to leave any crumbs on the floor. Or any “mouse” droppings, for that matter. “LOL, LOL!” Today, I thought I’d cover the results of the Kentucky Derby that happened yesterday. But first, a little about myself. As I reported yesterday, I went to the shopping mall because I’d just been named a card-carrying member of the Mall Walkers Club. When I got there, I hurriedly ratified their Constitution, but then the Club’s President (whose official title is actually “Information Desk Representative”) told me that the Club is not meeting again until a week from tomorrow–They used to meet daily, but that made the club seem less “exclusive”.
She said the next meeting is a big one though: their annual half-marathon! That’s what they call it when they walk from one end of the mall to the other, and then back to the middle: a half-marathon. The President gets to ride in the pace car (personal mobility scooter) and oversee that all rules and regulations are observed. She told me that last year she had to disqualify someone for using a cane, which the Club views as an illegal performance-enhancing supplement. The winner will receive a $25 gift card to the snack bar! I remember my last time eating there, the time when Jimmy Carter’s campaign made a stop at the mall. That cashier did not give me a straw for my soda. That’s not the way to build a loyal customer base. Hopefully the manager reprimanded him, he learned his lesson, and customer service has improved since then. We shall find out soon enough.
Needless to say, even though the Club was not having an official meeting yesterday, I had some training to do, so I laced up my tennis shoes, I heard the pistol shot, and I was off! I galloped out of the gate, rounded the escalators, jumped over the potted plants, nudged the competition out of the way, and reached the Finish Line just in time to buy one pair of shoes and get another pair for 50% off. Clearly, this must have been their attempt to persuade me to affiliate my status as a winning athlete with their footwear establishment. I appreciate the gesture, but I cannot be bought.
Uncannily, a horse named Super Saver won the Kentucky Derby yesterday (my source: http://www.fanhouse.com/2010/05/01/super-saver-wins-2010-kentucky-derby/). His win coincided with my super savings on footwear. I take this as a good omen for my own odds next week. As I run the race, I will fill my mind with thoughts of Super Saver’s hooves pounding around Kentucky’s muddy Rascal Flats on their way to a glorious victory, inspiring me forward toward my own goal. I am working on securing some guest passes for the event in case any of you readers would like to attend, but at the moment, the Club President has yet to return my phone calls. In case it doesn’t work out, rest assured that I will not want for supporters, as my two grandchildren, my son, my neighbor, and my common-law wife are all set to attend. Should I hear anything from the President, I’ll drop a note in the comments box to let you know.
Until next time!