Good day to you, kind ladies and gents. I’m happy that you’ve decided to join our discussion group today. Feel free to spread the word: All are welcome here. Get in on the ground floor. This blog is going straight to the top!
Despite our growing influence in the online sphere, my environment-saving tips I shared yesterday—advice I’m sure you all followed—couldn’t prevent an ecological tragedy from befalling the Gulf of Mexico, as thousands of gallons of sweet, sweet crude oil inch ever closer to shore in a part of the world known for its potent “roll tide”. Can’t say we didn’t try! But all is not lost, dear readers: This ought to show those naysayers who opposed the Intracoastal Waterway who was in the right. When you can’t sail outside the coast, sail inside it, that’s what I say.
One of the most important actions you can do is to take action: Engage your friends and acquaintances in conversations about the issue. Allow me to proffer my experience this morning at my local pharmacy as an example. I transformed an apathetic young cashier into an involved citizen by telling her about my days fishing on the Gulf, which were blatantly plagiarized and turned into a little TV dramedy known as “The Deadliest Catch” (a lawsuit is almost pending). Sensing that she was familiar with the program, I built upon this foundation of trust by instructing her not to give me a bag, and also not to double-bag the next customer’s order with the bag I did not use. As a token of her thanks, she slipped me some coupons with my receipt. She definitely got the message.
I will be heading to the casino tonight to try my seasoned hand at working the slots. Wish me luck! I’ll also be keeping an eye out for the bas+ards that stole my beautiful wire hubcaps in the parking deck there in 1991. Just because I’m getting older doesn’t mean I’ll forget. Eh, with my luck, they’re probably already serving time in Juvenile Hall for a laundry list of other crimes. Once you have one nice set of hubcaps, you don’t stop. Trust me. Youth: it’s wasted on the young.
Until next time!